Issue No.9: I Deleted All My Dating Apps
It's okay, I'm dating 30 celebrities in my day dreams
Last year I had my best year for dating. Went on lots of dates, kissed my share of frogs, and got past the first date more than once. It launched me back on my feet, ready to continue to put myself on the line for the sake of love. Unfortunately, this year hasn’t gone quite as planned.
Once my birth control-induced depression subsided in January, I was ready to re-download the apps and see if my experience would be any different. After last year’s success, I expected a life partner by Labor Day. However, this has been my worst year. My matches are so infrequent I am concerned I look like Shrek, and the people swiping right on me are not someone I’d ever consider (if I wanted to date a neo-nazi with misogyny problems I know where to find them). I am 4/4 on being ghosted after the first date, and if I am rejected by one more mediocre white man I may scream.
We're young and we're hot looking people and we should embrace that sh*t while we have it. - Two Night Stand
I am too hot and too young to feel dejected by an app on my phone. So last night, soaking in the last of July with my dog and a drink, I deleted all my dating apps. Which is freeing and terrifying at the same time. History has taught me that I likely will not meet someone in the wild, but I respect myself too much to feel like the poop emoji on the apps. It’s a slippery slope that I hope to balance.
For the time being, I am going to embrace the freedom and continue having my hot girl summer. You can’t focus on being single when you’re too busy living it up with your friends.
The List
Barbie: Greta Gerwig continues to knock her directorial pursuits out of the park. Barbie is fun, bubbly, and packs an insightful message about patriarchy and the burden of being a woman. I laughed, I cried, and I left immediately wishing I could go home and watch it while chatting with friends.
Skin1004 Centella Ampoule: The delight on my face when I put this on before moisturizer…this ampoule is incredible. My skin feels instantly refreshed and hydrated. Centella is calming to the skin, which is great for my rosacea as well. After the crazy bout of acne I’ve been having the last month, I’ve already noticed a difference in my skin in a week.
Heavenly Hunks: For my allergen-friendly babes, these cookies are unmatched. I’ve been buying the Costco big bag of the oatmeal chocolate chip, but finally caved and tried all their flavors on their website. Verdict? Each one is delicious. If you struggle with sweets that meet your dietary needs, I fully recommend picking up a bag. All of the flavors are great, but I did demolish the bag of white chocolate chip quickly.
WDIRARA Ruffle Hem Dress in Hot Pink: I have gotten no end of compliments on this dress since I bought it for Barbie. It may be hot pink, but it has nicley fit into my summer wardrobe. The dress is comfortable, not too heavy, and flattering. I could definitely see another colour making its way into my closet soon.
My Body - Young the Giant: This song is over a decade old, but continues to be such a banger. It recently popped up on my Spotify and reignited my love. Best enjoyed rocking out during rush hour or at a barbeque sipping a cold lager.
Cola Poppi + Vanilla + Lime: This is my drink of the summer. I’m not a soda fan, but lately a 3pm drinky drink to get me through the afternoon slump has been necessary. To make it a little more healthy, I ditched my Diet Coke for a Cola Poppi, then added about two pumps of vanilla syrup and then a dash of lime juice. Serve over ice and a cute straw and suddenly I’m a much more productive employee.